Rabies has been joked about in many of the kid’s shows I’ve watched over the years. Well I have a question for you: is it funny that every 9 minutes a person dies of rabies? Your answer is probably and hopefully, no. But how? How does rabies kill? How long does it take to kill you? Is it option 1 a slow and painful death or option 2 a quick and painless death? (I’ll take option 1 for 500) How many cases of rabies are there? And should you be worried about getting rabies. Well in this short speech I’ll be answering these questions and more. And you all are forced to listen. 

So, my first point is… rabies bad. I could just end it there but I can't. So, the first question is why is rabies bad? Well before I answer that I should probably explain what rabies is and how it is transmitted. So, the rabies virus is a disease that affects the nervous system. It is transferred through saliva but needs to get into a cut to affect you. All mammals can transfer rabies and get infected, this includes humans. In the U.S the animals that are most likely to transmit rabies are bats, coyotes, foxes, raccoons, and skunks. So, now that we know what rabies is, let’s get into the good stuff like symptoms and survival rates. First is symptoms, rabies starts with flu like symptoms… which could be anything including the flu. So not very useful. The next symptoms are put into two categories depending on what type of rabies you have. First is the furious strand, the most common in humans. It will cause hyperactivity, hydrophobia, and sometimes aerophobia, the fear of… drafts of air and fresh air. After a few days with these symptoms you will go into a coma and die. Not scared yet? Well here’s the second strand, paralytic. The symptoms that come with this strand are muscle weakness and even paralysis. (I guess that is where the name came from) People with this strand normally die from respiratory failure. Well that was fun, right? Well it gets better! Time to talk about the survival rates. There are only 1-3 cases reported in the U.S yearly. Of course rabies has an 8% chance of survival. So 2.4 of those people will die of rabies. There is no cure for rabies but there are vaccines that you can get to build up immunity. So, yay? So, as you can tell, rabies is not a disease you want to get. It is very bad and very dangerous.  On to point two!

There is probably someone in the audience that is wondering “but how does rabies affect animals?”  and “Ok, but how do I stop myself from dying from this horrible disease?” Well in this part I will be answering those questions. Let’s start with the animals first. Animals with rabies may show lots of different symptoms like fearfulness, aggression, excessive drooling, difficulty swallowing, paralysis and seizures. While aggressive behavior is common, animals with rabies might be unusually affectionate. Horses and livestock with rabies also might exhibit depression, self mutilation, and/or increased sensitivity to light. Wild animals with rabies might lose their fear of humans, and could display unusual behavior. Like an animal that is normally only seen at night might be seen wandering in the day. So, what do you do if an animal exhibits any of these symptoms. Well if it is wild, call animal control and let them take of it. If the animal is a pet, bring them to the vet, so you can see what’s going on with them and get them treated, right away. But how do you stop yourself from getting or dying of rabies? Well, you can stop yourself from getting rabies by staying away from wild animals and be extra careful when traveling to different countries. But if you just have to be bitten by an animal, wash the wound under hot water and bandage it up. Then go to the doctor as soon as you can. Don’t wait for symptoms, as it might already be too late by then. The doctor will probably give you a bunch of shots, to help protect you from rabies, even if you might not have it. Rabies is a very dangerous disease, so even if you don’t have it, it’s better to be safe than sorry. Well to be more accurate, it’s better to be safe than dead.

So what did we learn today? We're all fucking screwed...

Have a nice day!